How to Talk British

Although some may say British people speak English, communication is more complicated than one would first imagine. For several reasons cross-Atlantic communication is almost implausible.
First of all, no two British accents are alike. There are such a wide range of accents in England that make it more than impossible to understand some people, while others conversation flows effortlessly. The posh Hugh Grant accent I was expecting is hardly in ear shot. Apparently his accent is an Southern academia accent. Here in Leicester, I'm told, most of the people speak with a southern influence, although none really sounding like Hugh Grant. As I'm told northerners seem to be a bit more lazy with their speech and tend to blur words together. I think it's the northern accents that leave me staring blankly at some unfortunate souls. The longer I stay the better I will be able to spot the differences between accents, and, even more impressively, the better I will be able to understand all of them.

Another interference in communicating with the English is slang. Here's a list of words and phrases that aren't quite the same in both countries:

Brolly= Umbrella
Trousers= Pants
Pants= Underwear
Are you alright?= How ya doin'?
Lift= Elevator
Cheers= Thanks/Hi/(whatever you want it to mean)
Toilet= Bathroom
Bathroom= your going to have to pee your trousers unless you think to use the term toilet
kilograms= i don't really know how much I lifted at the gym yesterday
pitch= soccer field
blades= cleats
football= soccer
American Football= football
fit= hot (good looking)




Note: hand gestures are also not the same. A backwards peace sign that in America would mean "I'll catch you later dude" is equivalent to the middle finger in England.

I've heard of a few other differences, but none that I've had to deal with. When I do come a cross a difference I'll be sure to update this list!